So according to the sign in Goneburger’s new pop-up retail
store, when something is ‘Goneburger’, it means a good thing has slipped
between your fingers, you’ve lost something before you really knew what you
had.
I wonder if they were talking about the quality of their
burgers?
If I can be frank, a 100% Urbanspoon rating (which Goneburger
had at the time Snowcrabnebula dined there), based on a not insignificant
number of votes, is generally enough for most blogs to abrogate their judgment
to the people and commence fawning. I think Goneburger was hoping for exactly
this.
I have heard very good things about the burgers that the
Goneburger food truck serves up. However at the pop-up restraint the speed,
taste and quality that the brand is known for is unfortunately Goneburger.
I went for dinner with two friends, and between us we
ordered two Beef and Bacon Burgers (Organic beef patty, American cheese, lettuce,
tomato, Spanish onion, pickle, crispy bacon, caramalised onion, tomato sauce and mustard based ‘special sauce’
all on a Brioche bun), a Beef Burger (as above, just without the crispy bacon
and caramalised onion) and two bowls of their ‘famous’ crispy chips.
Starting with the positives:
- The service was friendly, even though they seemed to be
quite overstretched.
- The chips were super duper crispy and really nicely spiced.
- The place was located in the lobby of a 4 star hotel in St Kilda, so the
bathrooms were nice, and they were offering a tray of free breakfast pastries
for some unknown reason (this reviewer did not partake).
Moving on to the negatives (or rather, the rest of the
review):
Something was clearly going awry in the House of Goneburger.
The place wasn’t busy (it can really only seat perhaps 25 people spread between
inside and outside) and there would have been a maximum of 15 guests when I was
there. However, it took more than 10 minutes of waiting at the counter for my
order to be taken (albeit with repeated apologies) and a further 35 minutes for
the burgers to arrive. Now I get that things go wrong in food service, and when
I have a table of people to talk to, a bit over half an hour for food isn’t
unforgiveable. But when it arrives after a long wait, I need the food to be
good.
Unfortunately, the burgers were not particularly nice. I had
the Beef and Bacon, and here is my report:
The brioche bun (when will burger joints stop offering
freaking brioche buns) was exceedingly dry and particularly unappetizing. It
was soaked in the ‘special’ mustard sauce top and bottom and I can say without
hesitation that was the only thing that made it edible.
The bacon was OK. I guess it is hard to screw up bacon. It
was sufficiently crispy. Bully Goneburger.
The caramalised onions were alright – a bit sweet, but apropos
of nothing. They didn’t really suit the burger, especially given it already had
raw Spanish onion. The burger certainly wouldn’t have suffered from their
omission and it didn’t gain anything from having them there.
The patty was very disappointing. It just tasted of nothing
and was quite dry. It was still pinkish right towards the centre, but the cook
was a bit uneven. It had a nice melt of American cheese on top, but that was
all I could really taste. Given the beef that Goneburger use is meant to be
premium it was sad not to be able to taste the quality and their grillwork is
clearly doing quite a disservice to the meat.
The salad was fresh enough and the pickles were nice. But
that wasn’t going to redeem the burger.
My dining companion with the other Beef and Bacon reported
similar things, although the recipient of the Beef Burger was more
complimentary – particularly regarding the cook and taste of his patty. He had
just returned from a burger odyssey in the States so his judgment was not to be
discounted. However, at best that means the pop-up Goneburger produces an
inconsistently good product, as opposed to a bad one.
So there you have it, 100% Urbanspoon ratings are not always
indicative of a 100% experience. Caveat emptor. Your burger mileage may vary.